For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
