My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
