matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
