i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So many bounce houses so little time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
