We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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