I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize