I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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