i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I need water and some morals
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
