I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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