he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
