also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
