This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
