Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
