porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
