i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
