Tell her she can't have a vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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