What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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