we're blogging at a bar
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
