why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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