Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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