Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
