"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
