You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
