Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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