Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need water and some morals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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