"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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