I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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