Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize