come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
