You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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