I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
