I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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