Kiss
Puke
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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