I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
