ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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