Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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