I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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