If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
