Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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