I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
