I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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