You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
