I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
