Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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