Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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