some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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