Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
