we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
