think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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