That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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