so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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