I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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