I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
