Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
