Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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