There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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