I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
