You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
